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I Don't Know What I'm Doing, but I'm Doing It Anyway.

I have no idea what I'm doing. I just know that I'm doing "it."

When I started making content that honored Jesus, I had a clear vision on what I wanted that to look like...or so I thought. I knew that my Instagram would be reels, my YouTube would be longer format videos, and my website would be converted to a blog for those who still preferred reading over watching. It sounded great! It didn't sound easy, but it sounded do-able. And then, I got to a point where I always get in my creative journey.


The point where I don't think that what I'm doing is enough, and I don't know what to do next.


I'd really like to believe that most creatives get to this point. After all, nothing is very original...including feelings. When I started writing this post, I didn't have a clear direction. I just knew I reached a hill in my writing. All the blog entries that I had written down didn't seem appealing to me anymore. I scoured the internet to see what other Christian, women bloggers were discussing. I even went as far as taking down last month's posts because "it's not the direction I want this to go in." Don't fret...I put them back after I was over my mini meltdown. And then I did what I always do when I don't know something.


I stopped. I prayed. I asked for guidance. I asked for clarity.


I still don't know what I'm doing for this blog, but I know I'm doing it. What came to me after I prayed was this here post that you're now reading. As much as I want to stop striving for perfection, I find myself still doing it. God doesn't and has never asked perfection of me, and yet, I am still asking that of myself. How silly! It's a slap to His face, really. It's the equivalent of me telling Him that He made a mistake in creating me and that I'm not the beautiful creation He poured into. When I put it into that perspective, I sound like an ungrateful child. I mean, come on. God thinks I'm to die for and I'm over here telling Him I'm not good enough.

GIRLLLLL!

When you pray for guidance and clarity, God gives it to you in a way you will not be able to ignore. I still don't know where I'm going with this blog in totality, but I do know that if I keep my eyes on Him and keep my ears to Him, then I'll be led exactly where I need. I pray that this blog isn't what I want, but what He wants of me. I only want to do the things The Lord calls me to do, and I plan to do that to the best of my ability.


With that being said, I don't know what's to come this month for BECAUSE OF HIM: The Blog. I don't know what I'll be writing. I don't know if I'll like what I write. I don't know what I'm doing, I just know that I'm doing it because God is my director and I'm listening to Him and Him alone.


Thank you for being on this journey with me!


I love you, but Jesus loves you more. 


CPB


Reading not for you? Check out my visuals on YouTube: #ACheyMoment


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