Dating a Free Spirit
Nothing about me is traditional. Well, scratch that because I may have some traditional view points & beliefs scattered into the array of never-ending thoughts. Almost nothing about me is traditional...I'll say that. I don't believe that a 9-5 is the only way to live, that being a housewife makes me more of a woman, that becoming a soccer mom makes me a better mom than one who isn't. I don't think that doing the opposite of what my friends do "makes me cool" & that going against the grain makes me "edgy."
What I believe is that my spirit is unable to be caged, & I have yet to find someone who truly understands that. Don't get me wrong. I've dated & been in relationships with some pretty dope humans, but subconsciously I've always known that we wouldn't last. It's not because they weren't good people or they didn’t have great qualities, but mostly because they couldn't understand the way I needed to be loved & more importantly, that I cannot be controlled or molded into the person they wanted. Now, I am & have almost always tailored myself to the needs & wants of those people, but it was usually at the expense of letting go of me at my core. I never noticed or acknowledged that while involved, but they say love is blinding sometimes & that sentiment is more than true.
So, if you ever attempt to date someone with a free spirit, here's some advice from one, herself.
1. We follow with our hearts more often than not.
(it doesn't mean we don't think things through with logic, but if it doesn't sit well with our hearts, chances are we won't follow through with it.)
2. We vibe off energy.
(if the energy you emit seems iffy, off, or bad in any way, we will walk away. we can't have your negativity invading our wholeness.)
3. We think...A LOT...& will almost always challenge the way you look at things.
(perspective is crucial. we aren't disagreeing with how you view things, we just want to know if you'll try & view them in a different light, too.)
4. We "daydream" a lot.
(firmly believe that dreams will be our reality. nothing is impossible.)
5. The second we feel contained, we will freak.
(sometimes it's a subtle freak out, other times it's massive. exploring is crucial, & if we feel that you're trying to stop us from doing so, we will have to part ways.)
6. We're unapologetic in being us.
(we aren't everyone's cup of tea, & that's what separates us. we aren't being insensitive, but we couldn't care less about your views of us or any aspect of our lives. we love who we are, & we will never conform to who you want us to be.)
7. We push boundaries...& we will push yours, too.
(not because we aren't okay with the proximities we're in, but more so because we want to see & experience places & things we haven't before.)
8. We don't settle.
(when we choose you as our person, trust that we believe we have chosen right. now, it gets tricky because the second we feel like we may have gotten it wrong & we aren't feeling like you are giving the same amount of energy or effort, we will be quick to leave. we have no problem being by ourselves if we don't think you can keep up.)
9. We get bored easily.
(this is with a lot of different things. it doesn't mean we don't like it or you anymore, it just means that we are ready to continue exploring & adventuring. we want you to keep up with us on this journey, but if you can't handle the need for a change of pace...refer to number 8.)
10. We are honest & authentic in how we speak & portray ourselves.
(that old saying, "what you get is what you see," is accurate for us. we don't pretend to be someone we are not. we are not fake. we don't try to fit in. we are just who we are at our core (number 6) & we ask you to be the same. don't judge us on our past or on situations previously handled. more likely than not, we will wear our scares for you to see. we don't hide; we will always walk in our light.)
Dating a Free Spirit has to be something you are willing & ready to commit to. We can be "a lot", but "a lot" in the best possible way. In truth, when you are ready to commit to a free-spirited person, you won't think they are a lot, but you will think they are more than enough. Because you will have accepted who they are at their core--not wanting to change them--& love their perspective of life & the world, how they treat others, their words & how they fall from their lips in a way unlike most. You will have accepted that they want you close to them, but far enough so they don't feel trapped or consumed, that they will challenge you because they want you to grow alongside them, that they are dominant, but never overpowering.
We are an adventure, but we are well worth the experience.
Atticus said it the best. "Love her, but leave her wild."
May your day be ever filled with love, light, and of course, an abundance of chicken tenders💜🌻✨
Cheyenne Pajardo